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The Monster Hunter Snoozer Alarm! 

By Crowdwisdom | November 17, 2021

Before you start watching Monster Hunter, kindly keep an alarm for every half an hour. Snooze mode must! Or just tuck yourself in bed. This one can put you to sleep so fast you'd be surprised only after waking up. 

I haven't always been a monster slash zombie slash ghost or demon movie enthusiast, as it really scares me. If you are like me, then Monster Hunter is probably a good choice, 'cause despite supposedly being a monster film, this one has an uncanny ability to just make you roll your eyes and sigh. It's literally the most boring film in the genre I have ever seen. Instead of giving an adrenaline rush, the film gives a high Melatonin rush, the sleep hormone! If you are an insomniac, I would recommend you to watch this one.


The film actually gives some hope when it begins with Captain Artemis, portrayed by Milla Jovovich, and her small group encountering strange happenings while on patrol investigating another missing troop. The missing troop's last radio stat was mysterious and intriguing. The first 20min of the film promises something, but that's just about it, a promise. The initial slight scare and adrenaline does not develop or progress. It just takes a major dip into nothing. The plot begins with the captain and her group getting lost into another world, one with monsters inhabiting every space. The monsters look like wooden logs fixed with sharp horns and teeth. And there's just no winning these monsters!


And there's no end to it either. Just when you think it's all over, there comes another one. Flying. Swimming. Diving under deserts. Hoof! They really tire you out. Keeping track of them itself is a task throughout the film. The monsters aren't scary. They are just irksome. You just wanna-shoo-them-away kind of irritating monsters! 


Now, the Captain’s group is disposed of pretty fast once they enter the other world. Not much effort there to just leave the Captain with the entire canvas of the film. She gets attacked first but survives it bravely and fights to survive. Her first enemy besides the monsters that come out of nowhere, is a tribal guy, played by Tony Jaa, who got lost there previously. And they initially fight to kill (I did not understand why) before they realize they are the only two humans there and they have to stick together if they want to escape (Duh! (roll eyes)). And then the survival begins. The guy is a hunter and he teaches her how to fight in his way. They practice (without any monster interruptions surprisingly) hard and prepare themselves to fight against the gigantic monster under the sand, in order to cross the desert (the passage to our world is on the other side of the desert). And they defeat the monster, cross the desert, and Baam! There's a green green rainforest right there. And guess who's in there? The troop of the lost tribal guy. They just come out of nowhere and after initially locking up Captain Artemis, become co-hunters. This part of the film is unbelievably lame (more than the rest of it). Ropes and weapons appear out of the blue. It makes zero sense. I don't want to sound obnoxious, like one of those fools who expect logic and sense in an imaginary monster movie. Granted I come from the era of Harry Potter, Jurassic Park, King Kong and Godzilla, but then you cannot expect the same sense in all films!


Speaking as a common man, I had to pause, rewind and rewatch (that was the actual horror) many scenes because they didn't eventually make any sense. People just come out of nowhere. Talk of different worlds that exist. Human sized talking cats make food. Jeez what next?! (double eye roll). It gets extremely boring after a while. And just when you think (and hope) it's all gonna end, guess what?! It all begins all over again. 


The last half an hour of the film is unbeatably unbearable. Tons of unnecessary rain and fire parade, fighting for the sake of fighting, and monsters that look so bored and just multiply every second. Now, you'd think it all ends when our Captain, after fighting dragons and dungeons, lands back into our world. But no! We aren't that lucky. There's another 20min of thrashing, blasting, fire arms and dragons splitting helicopters apart. That sums up the plot somewhat. Oh wait. One more point. The captain, the hunter guy and his chief gangs up to fight monsters. Forever? Not sure because the film does not have an ending. Just no ending to the unending illogical idiocracies that drags you for one hour and 43 minutes!!

Overall, no, there's no overall. It's just a disaster. Hunt your sense down. You are so gonna need it after the Monster Hunter 'haunts' you!


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